i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
