I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
