You're earring is so big in my mouth
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
