Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
