I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
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