It's just like the Real World with babies
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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