Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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