I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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