idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
