everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
They took my balls.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
