bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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