This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
