I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
