Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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