I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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