doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i wish my penis had a tongue
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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