White coat. Heels.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
