Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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