I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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