shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
