What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
