no. you can't hotbox the world.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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