Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
