Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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