i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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