Your tits are I can't wait for
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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