I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
