I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Two words: blizzard sex
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
