Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
time to smoke my breakfast
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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