I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
my liver is dry heaving
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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