A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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