My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
