so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
