Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
love makes seman taste better
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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