so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i think my mom watched the whole time
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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