thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
