She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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