You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
