dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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