But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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