You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
