it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
