): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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