So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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