well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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