If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
