Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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