Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
