Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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