I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
